Category: Writers Block
The castle is wreathed in a thick mist as morning breaks over the deserted glen..the day shift begin their vigil, a the soldiers are tense and uneasy, they can never be sure when their enemy might launch an attack.Below in the dungeons english captives awake to another day of misery.Alex and his Captain are inspecting the pitiful prisoners."Hmmm it's quiet for a change what a relief are you sticking to the feeding regime it's important that they remain weak we can't risk a revolt" "yes Sir nothing but breadn water twice a day, but we have a problem, the bogs are dryin out wi aw this warm weather" Alex frowned and thought for a moment while listening to stifled groans and insults "well we can replenish them from the reserve further up see to this afternoon its quite cool down here..but the stench is awful uurrghhh" the Captain agreed as he was barely able to stand it."How long have you been down here Jimmy" on hearing an English insult the proud Highlander swallowed his disgust and stood straight "6 weeks sir it's ok now y'know but late on I've a job on my hands after feedin time" Alex understood and gave Jimmy what he'd been hoping for "you can change over with Charlie he has no sense of smell and a very quick temper"
They shared a joke until a scurrilous remark set Alex's teeth on edge "get that eejit out here lets see if he's as stupid as he looks" 2 guards jumped into action and dragged the 1/2 starved englishman out of his crampt and fetid cell.Alex was armed in his hand a long thin blade glinted in the weak sunlight as the guards positioned their prisoner before him Alex raised the blade and pointed it at the englishman's throat "say that again..look where obeying your psychopathic king has landed you and Longshanks still assumes he can take my country! Such arrogance runs through your race, like sewage runs through your streets" Jimmy was keen to get on with the execution if only to escape the stink he craved the sweet smell of bog myrtle and single malt whisky.Take him to the rack! And set up the trebuchet for a slow landing, I want this bampot to see it all!".
2 burly Scots guards humped the englishman outside he gasped as temporarily blinded by the bright unexpected sunlight.Jimmy and Alex took several deep breaths then he read out the accusations. "You stand accused of treason against the soon to be free people of Scotland. Of rape, thievery and ransacking these are ALL punishable by death! In your case,the manner of your death, will be extraordinarily painful. As NO! english usurper may lay a hand on a Scotswoman without her say so, and that is highly unlikely, unless she hasn't had it for a while and is gasping like" he smiled indulgently as sounds of blood- thirsty activity quickened his heart "is the man ready feck that was some party last night" a tall well built man strode up axe in hand he was hooded and only a pair of chilly blue eyes gave him away "ahh you survived I wasn't sure there for a while" the man smiled but his eyes remained fixed on his victim "I'll leave you to it and remember we will soon be there the big fight is not far off"
The rack was carefully lowered as the executioner impatiently fiddled with the shiny axe and his right hand drifted to the cold blade.As the guards tossed their victim onto the rack he protested feebly and they encouraged him to go further "guan yersel pal we've got all day so make yersel comfortable eh" they were from the rough end of Glasgow and couldn't help it. Jimmy watched their indiscipline with amusement and conferred with his friend the executioner "they would never get away with that in Inverness, we'd have hung em before they could shout feck off Glasgow Rangers!" Hearing this 1 guard expressed his opinion "aye yer right it's the Celtic or nothin, Rangers arra bunch a jokers, an that know" Alex switched off his personal cd player and listened to Jimmy's script of their handy work "everything is in place Sir the trebuchet is set up, do you want the Scottish axe, or something more exotic" Alex smiled sadistically he could almost imagine the scene "hmmm the big one I think, it makes such a clean sound on impact"
The prisoner struggled against the rough ropes they were jagging his sensitive skin and there was no savlon to ease the pain."Soon that il be the least of yer troubles pal, see yon monster over there, she never misses" he glanced over at the trebuchet painted red n black, with a large dragon's head carved on her tallest spar.He recognised the fighting machine and swore under his breath however, the executioner heard him, as he was blessed with excellent hearing.He yelled something in a foreign language, and as the axe came down close to the prisoner's head Jimmy had to restrain his friend as he was too enthusiastic. "Oi! Christ! who let you near the red bull..again eh settle down your no on a raid now man" Magnus glared at him and cursed then spat some Skullspiltter ale, he had secreted about his person,at the foolishly defiant englishman, who had wanted to taste it anyway, as he was fond of real ale...
Alex came over to absorb the emotions twisting within the rapidly warming air "ok lads..?" he rubbed his hands together with anticipation "this is a real coup do you know who we have here,only your man's nephew, this will really get a reaction" he laughed and asked Magnus for some ale it was only 8.30am but what the heck."get as close to Carlise as you dare, and you might just hear the bugger swearing" the men enjoyed the joke and derided Longshanks's cruelty towards Scotland and her Celtic neighbours while sharing out the ale,Magnus was getting anxious, as this was his last bottle."What's up big lad ahh don't worry man you Danes jeez ale, killin and women eh" The Dane watched the quickly disappearing ale and grabbed back the bottle "it's the last for 6 months my men are away sacking California" this brought cheers of wild expectation and a groan of frustration from Alex, his normally well trained army, would be corrupted by the wealth "will we be lucky this time" the look in Viking's eyes reassured him "no no we want this one to hone our torture skills y'know" he nudged his boss suggestively and drank the last long strong mouthful in one
The steel rope creaked as the tension on the trebuchet reached breaking point. Alex listened with evil intent she was his most prized posession, unless you count the flail now resting in his right hand he carefully caressed the spiked iron ball and smiled. "Ok I think we're ready" his radio sqawked into life and he quickly answered the message "hmm hmm its been well weighted good...well lads any time you feel like it, but give us time to move eh, we don't want a repeat of last tuesday's fiasco" Mac laughed heartily as he remembered the mess, still the dead had been Welsh, and they had only recently surrendered to the overwhelming might, of Alex's determined Scots/Irish army. Mac had sensed rumblings of discontent and a possible revolt, he had exacerbated this, by flattening several Welsh prisoners the remainder were not best pleased. "It il be awright Al eh, ah spent aw last night like, readin the handbook"
Alex knew better than to fall for the craic, it was after all a harmless if slightly sinister, joke. But coming from a fearless swordsman well be glad your not involved."hmm especially page 10 where the slow release mechanism is explained in minute detail" the banter came to an abrupt end "aye it was s' small ah got fed up an went oot for a pint" Alex was sweating this could so easily go awry "hmm you might have ordered a fresh supply of ale you rotten sod" Mac was testing the steel wire and admiring his axe, Alex switched off the radio and hoisted the black satin flag, the trebuchet would soon play her gruesome part in yet another rebellious murder.
Mac strode up and released the wire it twanged like an out of tune guitar string, as the arm swung round with terrific force. The broad curved axe somersalted as the momentum increased and the terrified englishman,could only watch helplessly his eyes popping like a glaucoma victim and a silewnt scream dying in his throat,he never believed the Scots would dare to take his life {this blatant defiance will cost them dear!} The axe turned end over end, the blade caught the early morning light,to the crowd of onlookers it was a truly beautiful sight. Inspite of his banter Mac had shown his aptitude for large and dangerous medieval weaponry, he would be loathe to admit it but the monster had grown on him. The axe catapulted into view and flakes of dried purple blood fell like confetti on the men."Watch eh you'd best move out the way Sir you never know wi that man" Alex took Jimmy's arm and let the trusted highlander guide him out of harms way, though in reality, he'd have been safer with an exclusion zone of about a mile. Alex heard a sickening thud with almost lethal precision the axe landed square between the englishmans legs where upon he wet himself with relief. Magnus wrenched out the weapon and wiped it with his victim's hair the Northman was now free to dispatch the soggy prisoner
Mac strode up and released the wire it twanged like an out of tune guitar string, as the arm swung round with terrific force. The broad curved axe somersalted as the momentum increased and the terrified englishman,could only watch helplessly his eyes popping like a glaucoma victim and a silewnt scream dying in his throat,he never believed the Scots would dare to take his life {this blatant defiance will cost them dear!} The axe turned end over end, the blade caught the early morning light,to the crowd of onlookers it was a truly beautiful sight. Inspite of his banter Mac had shown his aptitude for large and dangerous medieval weaponry, he would be loathe to admit it but the monster had grown on him. The axe catapulted into view and flakes of dried purple blood fell like confetti on the men."Watch eh you'd best move out the way Sir you never know wi that man" Alex took Jimmy's arm and let the trusted highlander guide him out of harms way, though in reality, he'd have been safer with an exclusion zone of about a mile. Alex heard a sickening thud with almost lethal precision the axe landed square between the englishmans legs where upon he wet himself with relief. Magnus wrenched out the weapon and wiped it with his victim's hair the Northman was now free to dispatch the soggy prisoner
"Wait!" Alex had come up with a more painful idea "decapitation is so quick, you know,we'er justifiably proud of your prowess big lad but".He wandered around rubbing his elegant fingers together. "The last time this creature came north, he massacred a whole town and hung children from the trees,so... I say we should leave him to fester for a week by which time, he'll be begging for a kiss from your cold steel" Magnus smiled and his eyes softened as much as is possible with a death happy northman he lowered the axe and put a hand on Alex's arm, he artfully concealed the attraction as sex with Magnus would probably end in death. "We could uhm remove 2 layers of skin where he's damp, and let the germs do the rest,then send the remains to Eddie" Alex thought over his proposition and wished for the nerve to give him one "....hmmm its tempting all right...." he enjoyed making the northman wait as he was quite impatient, Magnus was on the point of stomping away and launching his long boat "hurry up! No wonder the english run over your land like water" "do it and no I don't care how".
Jimmy went to the farrier who had already placed several long thin irons in the flames, the farrier Lachlan lit a cigarette 1 of 100, plundered from a Spaniard, who had annoyed him. Ahh ken these are no 1/2 bad like a man could get used to the high life like" Lachlan was from Aberdeen in spite of his highland name "so eh its skinn like a rabbit eh I might come an watch like, they aye scream like eejits, an english lord's arse is as soft as half meltet butter" Jimmy didn't want to imagine how he knew this and why he sounded so convinced.
Jimmy went to the farrier who had already placed several long thin irons in the flames, the farrier Lachlan lit a cigarette 1 of 100, plundered from a Spaniard, who had annoyed him. Ahh ken these are no 1/2 bad like a man could get used to the high life like" Lachlan was from Aberdeen in spite of his highland name "so eh its skinn like a rabbit eh I might come an watch like, they aye scream like eejits, an english lord's arse is as soft as half meltet butter" Jimmy didn't want to imagine how he knew this and why he sounded so convinced.
Lachlan shifted the irons around in the bright red fire and stubbed out his cigarette "so eh yon englishman's the Hammer's nephew hmm he'll no like this loon we can expect a visit very soon....that daft big Vikin il enjoy himself he's not get enough t'do aroun here" Jimmy coughed and warned the farrier to shut up as Magnus appeared blocking out the sun streaming in the doorway "aye y'ken I was just kiddin" he winked at the Dane who had taken off his hood an ugly red scar ran the length of his right cheek, a lasting reminder of the last battle.He picked up an iron and tested the heat by smell alone as he had a nose for fire "this will do Jimmy we will need your pipes though hell knows why" the highlander was deeply insulted and not in the mood for cheek "Oi! You should know better man maybe this will improve your memory" In a blur Jimmy struck with his dirk, and drew the sharp blade down Magnus's arm in warning.
He lifted his arm and licked up the bright red blood relishing the taste "I learnt this sailing from Ireland Aenemia is hellish at sea" Magnus turned his back on Jimmy never a wise move at the best of times the highlander drew his sword and as the metal wrang out in the clear air, he yelled his battle cry Loch Sloy! And charged the northman Magnus turned and smiled he was no stranger to this "obviously you have forgotten our last meeting hmm do you remember this!" A long blade shone in the sun and Jimmy recognised the inscriptions "aye I'd a thought that inferior viking metal woulda rotted away by now" they fought for 10 minutes until with a masterly stroke Jimmy smashed the northman's crumbling knife.
Wow, you finally have a thread all your own, sorry I ruined t.
LOL! dont worry I'm just amusing myself here